Decode what you actually want to feel in bed.
Discover your turn-ons, fantasies, and preferences so you can stop guessing, ask for what you want, and feel truly understood. Which are you?
Say the words
A whole new level of self-knowledge.
Take the quiz
Answer honestly. This is about what you want to feel, not what you "should" want.
Get your codes
Most people identify with more than one code, and desires can change over time.
Use results
Turn your desire codes into better communication, better experiments, and better sex.
Invite partner
Connect your partner with your Desire Codes so you both connect better.
The map
31 Desire Codes,
7 neighborhoods, 2 to tango.
Each Desire Code is organized around a deeper feeling Americans are seeking during intimacy.
Love & Connection
You primarily want to experience and express love, connection, or romance.
Power & Powerlessness
You primarily want to explore power dynamics and play with expressions of dominance and submission.
Spirituality
You primarily want to connect to something bigger through sex.
Validation & Affirmation
You primarily want to be desired or feel your ability to create pleasure in someone else.
Experience
You primarily want sex to open new, interesting, and exciting experiences.
Taboo
You primarily want to indulge in what feels off limits or taboo.
Sensuality
You primarily want to experience the pleasure of your senses and connect to the body.
FAQ
A few things people ask first.
Desire Codes began with a 9-month study by Nonfiction Research. We interviewed Americans from all walks of life, experts in the field of human sexuality, and quantified our findings with a nationally representative survey. This research produced the 31 Desire Codes, but along the way we learned some interesting things about sexuality today.
Read the researchWho did this study?
This research was conducted by an independent research company, Nonfiction Research. This study was a 100% self-funded passion project. Nonfiction explores the hidden parts of American life through immersive research. Their findings have been featured by ABC News, Axios, MSNBC, Fox News, and Fast Company. Their work has inspired public service campaigns, a division at Disney, new flavors of Doritos, and a Megan Thee Stallion song.
How were these codes created?
We arrived at these classifications by asking people a simple question: imagine you are going to be intimate with someone new, and that person received an index card with notes on how to please you. What would you want written on that card? From those answers we looked for patterns in motivations, turn-ons, warmups, dynamics, what people were seeking from sex, expressions, and techniques.
What was the methodology?
The research for Desire Codes was conducted from May 2024 to November 2024. It consisted of in-depth interviews with Americans, expert interviews, a long-form qualitative survey, and a nationwide quantitative study. The nationwide survey was conducted with Americans over the age of 18 and weighted to reflect the US census, with 1,029 survey responses.
How do I figure out my Desire Codes?
Take the quiz to get started. Your results will translate your answers into a primary Desire Code and sub-archetypes you can explore.
Can I be more than one code?
Yes. Most people identify with more than one code, and desires can change over time, partners, and life experience. When you take the quiz, you get one main Desire Code archetype and three Desire Code sub-archetypes.